**‘I’ve Never Known Intimacy’: Welsh Man Opens Up About Being a Virgin at 47**
A man from Pontypridd, Wales, has chosen to speak candidly about his deeply personal journey of remaining a virgin well into his late forties, saying he is no longer burdened with shame but is still grappling with fears around intimacy. Andrew Brookman, aged 47, has revealed how timidity, childhood adversity, and the pressures and prejudices of society have shaped his unique life experience.
Andrew describes himself as someone who has always felt a sense of apprehension about relationships and social situations. Reflecting on his childhood, he points to his parents’ divorce when he was just ten years old as a major turning point, which left him wary of emotional closeness and conflict. “Seeing other people go through arguments and divorces made me reluctant to form those connections myself. I decided I would rather be alone than risk that kind of pain,” Andrew admits.
Bullying during his school years contributed further to his sense of isolation. He recalls being “timid” and “different”, struggling to find acceptance amongst his peers. This, he believes, hindered his confidence in pursuing relationships, romantic or otherwise. “At school, I was always the quiet one. People picked on me for being different, and those experiences left a mark that lingered well into adulthood,” he shares.
Andrew also attributes some of his struggles to the societal attitudes toward sexuality during his formative years. Growing up in an era when homophobia was common, he felt compelled to suppress his true identity. He initially fancied girls as a teenager but acknowledges there wasn’t the confidence or knowledge to move forward. By the age of 16, he realised he was attracted to men but found the stigma around homosexuality forced him to keep this part of himself hidden. “Fear kept me in the closet. It was a secret I carried for many years,” he explains.
As a young adult, Andrew’s anxieties about sex and relationships became so overwhelming that he sought therapy and medical support. He was prescribed antidepressants in his late twenties but still found himself unable to overcome the psychological barriers to intimacy. In his thirties, living on his own for the first time, he found himself turning to pornography as a substitute for real-life connection. “It became my only outlet and the only way I experienced anything close to sex. At times, I’d spend hours a night watching it – I felt both envy and resentment, wishing I could have that same sense of connection,” he reveals.
Despite these struggles, Andrew says the turning point came when he started to confront his feelings rather than hide from them. He began writing a memoir entitled ‘Colours of a Rare Bird’, which allowed him to process his experiences and move beyond shame. Opening up through his writing, he says, has helped him accept his identity – both as a gay man and as someone who has never been intimate. For the first time, he even volunteered at his local Pride event, marking an important step towards embracing his place in the community.
Andrew also voices concern about the way society treats those who are virgins later in life, noting that the topic is often the subject of ridicule or jokes. “It’s not something to laugh about. The stigma runs deep, and it affects people’s lives in ways others may not realise,” he emphasises. He expresses empathy with others facing similar situations, and hopes his openness can help reduce the sense of isolation that can come with not conforming to what society expects.
With Channel 4’s new series, *Virgin Island*, shining a light on adults who have not yet experienced intimacy, Andrew says he feels a sense of connection and pride for opening up at last. He encourages others to speak honestly about their own journeys, stressing that no one should feel guilt or embarrassment over how their lives unfold.
Andrew Brookman’s memoir, which chronicles his journey towards self-acceptance, is available online. He hopes that by sharing his story, he can provide encouragement and reassurance to anyone else who feels out of place or left behind by societal expectations around sex and relationships.