Tom Youngs, the former England rugby union player and well-respected figure in British sport, has reflected on a journey through grief towards new-found happiness following the devastating loss of his wife. In a recent, candid interview, Youngs gave a moving account of how he has coped with bereavement since the passing of his beloved partner, Tiffany, in 2022.
Youngs, now 38, retired unexpectedly in 2021 to become the primary carer for Tiffany, who was waging a relentless battle against cancer. The couple, who share a daughter named Maisie, had experienced poignant highs and crushing lows together. Tiffany was initially diagnosed with cancer in 2014, but after positive remission news in 2018, the illness tragically returned. At just 35, Tiffany died, leaving Youngs and their daughter facing the painful reality of life without her.
More than three years have passed since that heartbreak, and Youngs has chosen now to speak openly about his experience—particularly the mental and emotional hurdles he has navigated. Taking part in the ‘For The Love Of Rugby’ podcast, hosted by his brother and fellow England international Ben Youngs, alongside Dan Cole, Tom revealed insights into how his outlook on life has evolved.
Responding to his brother’s gentle but direct question about how he was faring, Youngs offered a notable sense of optimism. “Life’s good now, actually,” he began, expressing gratitude for his daughter and the support system he has rebuilt. “I think I’ve found my feet. I’ve got Maisie at home. I’ve got a new girlfriend called Kate, which is fantastic, we’re getting on well.”
Despite this forward movement, Youngs was clear-eyed about how grief leaves its mark. “Will life ever be the same? Probably not. That’s the reality. You’ve got a scar, but you can make the best out of life, as much as you want to do,” he reflected. He stressed the importance of accepting that challenges and sadness will persist, yet a positive mindset can illuminate a path through the darkness.
Throughout the interview, Youngs offered advice that seems as applicable to anyone facing loss as it is to professional athletes. “If anyone’s been through anything I’ve been through, do not try and stop life, because you cannot. Life will just keep going forward,” he explained. In his view, resistance to moving forward can deepen suffering. “If you do try and stop it, you’re probably going to get yourself in a bit of trouble. You’ve got to roll with life,” he continued, urging listeners to endure, adapt, and gradually allow themselves to live again.
Questions around feeling happiness after loss are common, and Youngs was refreshingly honest in addressing his own internal conflicts. “Actually, being happy was weird. Should I be happy? Shouldn’t I be?” he admitted. “But, yes. You should be. I didn’t do anything wrong. Tiff didn’t do anything wrong. The situation happened and then we have to move on from that, and that’s tough to say. But that’s reality. You’ve got to be OK that you are happy.”
Tom Youngs’ reflections are likely to resonate with many who have experienced bereavement. His openness about the complexities of moving forward—particularly the guilt often associated with finding new joy—adds a valuable dimension to the public conversation around grief and recovery.
Support for Youngs has been widespread, not only from within the rugby community but also from fans and the broader public. As he rebuilds his life with Maisie and new partner Kate, his candour provides hope and encouragement to those treading a similar path. Ben Youngs’ support as both interviewer and brother was palpable, highlighting the importance of family networks when life takes its most difficult turns.
Youngs’ journey is a timely reminder of the enduring nature of grief, but also the possibility of recovery and rediscovered happiness. His message is unequivocal: whilst sorrow may be a permanent feature for some, life can once again offer moments of joy—if only we allow ourselves to seek them out.